Why does no one listen to me when I am speaking and what can I do about it?
At first reading, you may say this story isn’t your story, but let me put your finger on your forehead.
What are the feelings which you should have after a real conversation?
- You should feel fulfilled.
- You should have more energy because every time you release some part of you, no matter in which form, positive energy fills in that empty space inside of you.
- You should feel connected with the whole world. True connection with only one person makes you feel that you are connected with the rest of the world. The reason for that is simple: all of us are the oneness.
I don’t care if your conversations are usually between you and your boss, or you and your stupid colleagues, so you can’t…blahblahblah. If things are like that in your life, it is clear that you should change your life, which means: you should change your job. But, first, let’s change something what doesn’t frighten you so much. (However, changing your life and your job shouldn’t be frightening for you either.)
I do care about helping you to make most of your conversations entire. It is because it might happen that one day we will get to know each other better, and we might have some chitchat. And to be honest, I wouldn’t want to have meaningless talks with you, even if they were only chitchats.
Of course, sometimes there will be people in your life with whom you can’t have decent conversations. But guess what − that’s great! You will blow off him or her and figure out that this is the way how life helps you to make the right choices without wasting too much time.
Right choice is always the choice that makes you feel good; it makes you feel really good, not like when you eat sweets.
The first and most important step which will lead you to the meaningful conversation
Be the one with whom people love to talk. Be the leader of conversations that will make other participants feel fulfilled, energized, connected.
If you are like: “I don’t give a damn for that, for me it is important to get out of my head what I have in it, and to release myself ”, then you are on the right place. Yes, people probably listen to you but after the first conversation they pray every day not to see you…Sorry, not to hear you ever again. Maybe you have some opposite examples, but believe me, you don’t need those kinds of people around you, people who feel uncomfortable, but without balls to do something about it because they are afraid, too polite or simply stupid.
Your approach to the dialogs or monologues is exactly the same approach of your conversation partners.
How am I acting in conversations with others?
What is the more dominant feeling in my conversations – love or lack of love which is fear?
Since it’s not so easy to answer these questions, I made a list regarding this topic which you can see below. It includes the potential symptoms of your conversation partners. Since we are each others inside mirror, you will recognize your own acting through recognizing the acting of your conversation partner.
Acting of someone who truly listens to you
- Looks you right into your eyes
- Her or his body is calm
- Doesn’t interrupt you
- After you have finished your talk, your partner asks questions which are in direct connection with the current topic you are talking about
- He continues the conversation in a way that he shares his own opinion and experiences which is tightly connected to the topic of your talk
- Uses questions: “What do you think…“, „How does it sound for you…“
If you have conversation with someone who is acting like the written above, keep him/her next to you, no matter what. Those people are precious! Rare and precious!
Acting of someone who listens to you only because of politeness
- Looks you through your eyes
- Always smiling no matter about what you are talking about
- If a fly lands on his or her nose, he or she tries to solve the situation in his head, not with his/her hands
- Asks polite questions although the conversation has already gone to another direction
- After the first part of your speech there is a break, and your conversation partner puts only a big smile on his face, and he checks the time on his watch
- Uses sentences: “No way…“, „Really?…“
If you have conversation with someone who is acting like this, let him or her to stay in your life only partially, that you see him or her around once per year.
Acting of someone who doesn’t give a shit about what you are talking about
Be the person you want to speak with.